Do you know what today is?! It’s our Anniversary!! And you guys I seriously cannot believe it’s been 7 years of marriage!! Wow! Time has seriously been flying by and some days we still feel like the kids we where when we first met. Except we have a kid now, of course! Lol! But I still can’t help but feel all the feels and heart eyes for this wonderful man I started this beautiful journey with 12 years ago. And I wanted to share some of the things I’ve learned during this beautiful journey.
- That part, Journey! – Marriage is a journey not a destination. And it didn’t just begin or end when we said our I do’s. The quality of our dating relationship has had a huge impact on our marriage. And by us deciding to wait until marriage, keep God first, and developed a friendship while dating, it has made the journey a lot more fulfilling.
- If marriage was a dance it would be a tango – As with many things in life, marriage has its ebbs & its flows. It’s ups & its downs, twirls and dips. And add a splash of passion & the soundtrack of life and you’re in for a crazy, fun, ride! The key is to keep dancing with the one you came to the party with.
- Age ain’t Nothin’ but a Number – K was 22 when we got married and I was 21. And I’m so glad we didn’t let our age get in the way. Our level of maturity and understanding of marriage from jump is what has made our marriage work. And in some ways, I feel like being young has been an advantage because we took certain risks & learned things together that we wouldn’t have if we were older.
- Marriage IS harder once you have a child – Point blank, period! It just IS! No matter how strong your relationship is (& it better be strong!) , adding a kid or kids to the mix definitely makes things more challenging. And becoming parents has the uncanny way of magnifying all of the tiny things that urked you about one another before. ha! But it’s navigating these new roles and seeing one another in this new light that makes life so sweet & worthwhile.
- Communication & compassion are key – we didn’t realize it at the time, but early on we spent a lot of time practicing our communication skills with one another. And it makes life 10x easier! We talk about everything! And we don’t let riff’s linger or get dirty. There’s no need to get temporary satisfaction out of saying things we know we’ll regret & apologize for later.
- We define our roles & our sex life – Early on we made this decision and it has been one of the best things we could have done for ourselves! We shut out what so & so is doing, how often they are doing it, how often he opens her car door, how often I make his plate at family functions (lol!) etc… We have shut out what society has said we should expect from one another and have defined our own love language.
- Life is easier when you have a like-minded partner – There’s always talk about marriage being so hard. But in my experience it’s easier than navigating this life alone. I love having a partner I can always bounce an idea off of, share common interests and experiences with, and knowing that I always have at least 1 fan in my corner! Marriage is such a beautiful thing!
- Change is good! – We’ve let go of the expectation that we will be the same people we were when we first met or got married. We plan to grow, evolve, and get better as individuals (and therefore as a couple). So why should we be afraid that we will change? It’s inevitable! And as long as we are doing it together, it’s all good!
- Surrounding ourselve’s with marriage has been key – we are so very blessed that we have SO many great examples that are blazing some great trails ahead of us & behind us. We spend a lot time with couples like K’s parents & Auntie’s, Uncles (each married at least 30 years) and My sibs and their spouses. Having a healthy dose of both on a regular basis helps us keep things in perspective.
- Divorce is not an option – We’ve taken out of our minds that there is a seemingly easy way out of all of our challenges as a couple. Taking this off the table has saved us a lot of time, drama and frustration. We are a good team, and we are in this together! So we don’t spend time and emotions entertaining notions of the contrary.
*Bonus* #11 : Having a sense of humor and adventure is good for the soul!
I’d choose you all over again babe! Happy, Happy Anniversary!
P.S. I special thanks to my sister Imahny for snapping these photos of us at almost a moments notice. You’re the best!