Coping With Rejection : Mental Health & Self-Love

Secret fact: I’ve been to more job interviews than I can count within the past year. I swear it’s been at least 10! yes 10! And here I am currently waiting to hear back from another… This time from a REALLY huge online publication, for a part-time work from home position that is similar to what I am doing now for myself (& clients) – content creation, and social media marketing .

I applied for this job many months ago before I jumped full-force into entrepreneurship. And darn it, the what-if’s got the best of me, and I had to give it a good shot and take the interview. eek! I mean, as an entrepreneur, who wouldn’t entertain the possiblity of a reliable stream of income, while still building an empire?! Making money as a small business doesn’t always equal profit (right away) and it takes time to generate enough income to supplement a full-time job. (I digress…)

ANXIETY

To be honest, I’m completely over the auditioning and interviewing processes in the U.S. (actually, I’m not really sure what other countries do! Hehe! But I pray they do better!). See my “completely over it” face pictured above! ha! But dealing with so much rejection (for whatever the reasons) can be very disheartening and the waiting game can be very stressful when you are wanting to hear back from a potential employer at a job you really desire.

So lately I have been finding myself getting very anxious about job interviews when I used to go into them so very confidently in the past (that is of course because I always landed the job before).  But going through the whole experience (submitting resumes, going in for multiple interviews, wearing the right thing, saying the right things, sending thank you emails/cards, and all of the phone calls involved) ugh! It can be such a mind-freak and take a toll on your self-esteem if you let it. I imagine many mom’s transitioning from being Stay-At-Home may experience something similar as well as those trying to break through glass ceilings. But I have absolutely no regrets taking time off to care for my daughter. This whole experience has shifted my motivation & direction, caused me to work even harder, reach even higher, and taught me not to settle for the status-quo. It is what has turned me into a BOSS MOM/Femme-prenuer!

COPING

Rejection touches all of us in some form or another throughout life. And this has surely been the biggest one for me. I’ve implemented a few valuable ways for me to cope. And since this seems to be a hot button issue within our nation lately, I wanted to share them. And while things haven’t always worked out according to my plans, they ARE working out. I believe it’s been my optimistic outlook and faith that have gotten me through. You see I was trying to bang down door x,y, & z on the left, while people were seeking me out for my services on the right. If I’d been caught up in heartache and low self-esteem, I wouldn’t have been prepared for the other opportunities as they came along. I just couldn’t help but feel like God had other plans for me — and He did!

So if you are going through something similar, (trying to find a new job, or promotion), experiencing rejection from a family member, friend, boss or spouse. Here are some ways that can help you cope & empower you for your next season of success in life (these are in no particular order):

  1. Take A Break – I literally had to take periodic breaks at times from my employment search to maintain my mental health! I began to experience bouts of being overly emotional or not caring at all. And I knew it wasn’t healthy. So removing myself from the hustle from time to time was necessary & beneficial. This also allows you time to rest, reenergize, and refocus. Success is important but so is self-care!
  2. Talk to Someone – Having a spouse, parents and/or close friends to talk to about rejection is so important. The best ones help to bring about perspective, encouragement and sound advice.  Even if you just need to vent! Find someone to talk to about the issue.
  3. Know That You Are Capable (Understand Your Value/Strengths) – During this process it has been important that I understand my value. Although they may have picked someone else over me, that doesn’t mean that I brought nothing of value to the table. Know & Focus on your strengths. And if needed, began using them in capacities you haven’t previously tried to explore. Maybe you can go into business for yourself or partner with a friend that is doing something similar. Skies the limit!
  4. Educate & Perfect Your Weaknesses – We all have weaknesses. And it is also important that we become aware of the areas we can stand to improve in. Maybe it’s just a matter of taking one class, passing one more certification, or watching a few more youtube videos to learn how to perfect your craft or the way you communicate. Take advantage of free classes and seminars offered around you. And talk to others around you that in a similar field or who have experienced something similar.
  5. Re-evaluate your expectations & Path – This was very beneficial in my case. Though my process as I was evaluating my situation, I realized that my priorities has changed and I really wanted something more flexible and creative than I initially thought. So if even for a season, I am heading down a different path. And consequently my expectations have changed. If it’s a marriage and you and a spouse on a completely different page, you might need to re-evaluate your expectations or ask him/her to adjust theirs. If that’s not possible, consider a different path…
  6. Try Again – As the old Aaliyah song goes “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off & try again!” – Nothing amazing and groundbreaking in life is achieved without some form of challenge and rejection. If needed, learn from your mistakes, allow it to make you better, and then try again when you feel like the time is right!

EMPOWERMENT

I’m a women of faith, and I truly believe that the  doors ” God opens, No Man Can Close. And the doors He closes, no man open”! So in addition to taking time to revaluate my skillset, and growing & expanding my knowledge in areas of passion & expertise, I have to trust Him! And know that the thoughts and plans He has for me are GOOD. So this is the season I am currently in (and I don’t have it all figured out) but I rest in the fact that what is meant for me, is meant for me! I’m “Growing Through” as my pastor recently taught about, and learning all that I need to learn during this this season.

Practicing this form of self-care has been so empowering! I have no doubt that God has been showing me all the skills and natural talents He has placed within me, and that I have the ability to be successful  despite the doors slammed in my face. I have a greater understanding of my value, my strengths and passions, And I know that everything I have experienced has prepared me for my future!  I am stronger, wiser, and kinder because of it. And I’m okay with not being where I am NOT supposed to be!

So while it would be nice to get a “W” on this one! To nail this super cool, trendy, big fish of a job (as I continue to build my business), I’m at peace either way. And that within its self is growth my friends!

Take Care,

Brittany

UPDATE: I got the job!

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I’m a wife to my amazing husband (KK) , mother to an adorable & darling daughter named Connor. This is where I like to share my experiences, passion for photography, mommy tips and fashion obsessions!

7 thoughts on “Coping With Rejection : Mental Health & Self-Love

    1. Thanks so much Christina. It’s such a personal thing to share, I felt a little self-concious at first. But It’s all apart of my testimony and growth. So I can’t hide from it! God has a great plan!

  1. Thanks for sharing these tips. I feel you’re frustration bc I had the same dilemmas before I had my second. I wanted to go back to work and couldn’t find anything. Meanwhile, we got newswe were expecting so I just stopped looking. Hang in there.

    1. Awww! wow! Thanks so much for sharing that Crystal. So glad other mama’s can possibly relate. It’s definitely apart of a much bigger conversation about us women being able to “have it all”. ha! But as challenging as it was at times, I’m grateful for it all. Hoping that in some way, even if just a tiny bit, this post will help make a difference or start meaningful dialogue. Xo

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